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Hartebeest

by Shoaler

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1.
2.
No Dreams 06:18
Would you believe there was a time when I thought I had it all A time when I stared only backwards and stood only tall If I never said that I saw you I wouldn't know why We stand at attention remembering days that went by Would you believe I'd forgot all about it till now You tell me again to get past it but I don't know how Give her a place she can rest with the one that she loves Tell her to stay for as long as she needs till she's ready You stood in my way like you wanted to leave all along I thought that you got what you wanted but then I was wrong She left in the morning with nothing but tears in her eyes You did all you could but you knew that the sun had to rise And would you say to my face you were ready Or that you thought of me all along And did you think I wouldn't know you were ready Like you said I'd be all along
3.
Sun Bleached 03:42
Let's look our best Let's let our faces light up in the aquamarine Like the windows we opened to let in the sky's tourmaline Larger than life But smaller than stories we tell in the dead of the night We are so many things on this day and all of them bright Let's just relax Let's close our eyes and pretend like we're still asleep for a while The day won't forget us just yet Ebb and flow Like a dream half-remembered Like the words in your mind while you're falling asleep Can we hold spaces in all three dimensions And let the wind shape them in static abstractions Forgetting our clothes on the weather-worn stones Watch them fade into a lighter shade of blue
4.
Chamomile 04:27
Never to be Everything to me Always what I see Always what I see Locked away in dreams Grasp at straws for things to say That I don't even mean Same as ever When your life is a candle you say what you must Midnight heat into daytime tarnish and rust Feel the weight of the emptiness pushing down You will grow to remember this fondly Daydreams and aspartame lies Say you'll be there by my side And I know it may look like I'm running But I'm just along for the ride And I leave you behind like lost blood or broken teeth Moving along What's been going on What's been going wrong Nothing going on Same as ever Does it hurt when I tell you to change your mind Do you know what it's like to be out of time Just be sure to keep laughing and I'll be fine You will grow to remember this fondly ("I'm trying" I say as I tell myself this is a temporary setback and soon I'll be Better than ever and well on my way to a life where I have something real to wake up for Chamomile tea leaves at three in the morning, they don't help me sleep but at least I can feel like I'm Working to change these old patterns I've fallen into) Daydreams and aspartame lies Say you'll be there by my side And I know it may look like I'm running But I'm just along for the ride
5.
Cowardice and fire in my lungs Your name was on my tongue But I'm not the only one I'm not the only one And they'll put the blame on you And they'll never find out who But it was always me not you It was always me not you Solitude and weak apologies You wouldn't lie to me But you're not the one I need You're not the one I need And it's hard to let you go When there's time to take it slow So let's see where this will go Let's see where this will go
6.
Call me a dead believer I am not wild in my youth Call me a warm silence I am not yours or mine But I know That I can't stay with you all night I lost my nerve and I don't know why Call me on short notice I'm just a way to pass the time Ask all the wrong questions You don't know anything I feel But it's alright You take what you will from me I give it all and I give it freely You take what you will from me I give it all and I give it freely
7.
Fade from white as I sit up straight And I can't feel my face I can't tell what's real and what is fake But I know I didn't dream this Soon enough my mind will retrace all the Steps that I made Decisions on parade and I'll say, "My god, what was I thinking" There were things that I did not want to see There were places I did not want to be And I was alone Staring up at the cold metal ceiling Cluttered thoughts congealing Gladly free of feeling in the dead heat of time No consolation Awful things that I saw in the mirror I move like nothing's real And my voice comes through all muffled and out of order And my words lack any meaning There were things that I did not want to see There were places I did not want to be And I was alone He slams the brakes as he loses control His mind becomes a hole as the sky begins to roll And he knows It's really over Soon enough his disinterested savior Will laugh at his behavior And quickly accept failure and save the story For a gap in conversation There were things that I did not want to see There were places I did not want to be And all the flowers were made of stone

about

Shoaler's debut album.

credits

released August 7, 2017

All songs written and recorded by Shoaler, who is also known as Alex Goetz. Recorded at Cloyne Court Hotel and Hoyt Hall, Berkeley, CA

Art by Sophie Gullett

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about

Shoaler Denver, Colorado

Dreampop/post-punk/fun for the whole family.

"If You Don't Like Reverb, Go Home"

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